Tag Archives: parenting

52 Weeks Of Gratefulness #3 – Our Sons’ Honor

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com - 52 Weeks Of Gratefulness #2 - Our Sons Honor

In Week 3 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks to God for our sons’ honor.

This past week, we celebrated our queen’s birthday.

Without my prompting, knowledge, or involvement, our sons coordinated all the moving pieces that made for a beautiful weekend. They demonstrated attentiveness and a keen understanding of their mother by cooking meals she loved.

We talked, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company all weekend long, interspersed with delicious food lovingly prepared.

It was already a gift to have our loved ones with us, but to have them near and loving on each other as a celebration of a beloved’s life… well, there’s no greater honor.

Seeing the men our children have become, as evidenced by how they honored the first lady of their life, fills me with great joy and hope.

I’m grateful.

#52WoG

Tough Love

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com - Tough Love

One dollar and twenty-five cents in quarters is all that I have. I take a deep, quivering breath, pick up the handset and feed the coins into the payphone at the corner of the gas station that would later become Strange Brew coffee house.

I push dial the number to call home to Jackson, Mississippi. The first ring lasts for an eternity. Mom answers. We exchange pleasantries and I nervously ask, “May I to speak to Dad?”

I’m starving. My head hurts, I’m so hungry. Then I hear the rustle of the phone exchanging hands.

“Hey Dad. I’m out of food. Can you send me some money for groceries?” The question hangs in the air a bit before my father calmly replies, “Welcome to the real world, son.” Click.

When I was younger, I shared that story to make my father out to be a villain. The hearer would often respond, “How awful. That’s cruel.” But, what they didn’t know was, at that time, I was living lasciviously, wastefully and in rebellion. Nobody could tell me anything. I did as I pleased and my situation was the consequence.

What is clear now that I didn’t see then, was that my dad’s objective for me was to choose a good and productive path. And before I could do that, I had to see for myself what a worthless and destructive path I was on. I had to come to a place where I recognized that my lifestyle, which seemed good (fun and pleasurable) at the time, was not good. I had to see that my choices were producing outcomes I really did not want. In the words of scripture, “I had to come to the end of myself,” (Luke 15:16-17). I had to realize there was a better way. I’ve been seeking it ever since.

There was no greater kindness than for my father to allow me to be confronted with my error rather than help me continue in something that would hurt me. Love “does no harm” and does not always look like hugs and kisses.

Originally posted by Paul Luckett to Facebook here.

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Past Choices, Present Consequences, and What They Teach Me About Proper Priorities

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com - Past Choices, Present Consequences, and What They Teach Me About Proper Priorities

As I stare down our children graduating and leaving our home, I look back over the past 18 – 20 years and it puts things in perspective.

A lot of urgent things happened in that time.

There were pressing issues at work that demanded my attention: emergencies, new projects, pending deadlines, bills due.

They felt big and important at the time.

But, they weren’t.

As I look at outcomes 20 years removed from their causes, it is clarifying about what is truly important. Very seldom was it the things that I thought were important.

I got a lot of it wrong.

And as I ponder these outcomes, good and bad, the things that did not seem urgent 20 years ago, were the most important: playing with my kids, kissing my wife good night, and spending Friday nights with other believers in marriage ministry.

Sowing into people are the labors that make for a harvest.

The work that seemed all important tends to only produce beautiful dead things, things with no nutritional value, with no ability to make for a healthy soul.

Wise are the words in Ecclesiastes 12:1,

“Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth,
Before the difficult days come,
And the years draw near when you say,
‘I have no pleasure in them'”

Because,

“There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.”
— Proverbs 16:25

I see in retrospect the importance of trusting and obeying God, not only when we cannot see our way but especially when we think we can, and to follow Him despite the path that seems good to us.

The decisions we make now, will be the ones we eat from in the latter days.

Looking back, I do not ever regret a single time that I followed Him and I wish I had followed Him more.

He truly does lead to green places (Psalm 23:1-6).

He truly is Lord of every harvest that I’m enjoying right now.

New Driver Rental Car Agreement

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com - New Driver Rental Car Agreement

It seems like a lot of my friends’ kids are getting their drivers licenses. (We old! 🤣)

Before our boys got car keys, they signed an agreement spelling out our expectations and that driving is a privilege and not a right -a privilege maintained by trust that is earned.

We were delighted by how well they handled this enormous responsibility when expectations were clearly set. So, I’m sharing our family’s “New Driver Rental Car Agreement” in hopes that it’s helpful to other families for putting their new drivers in a position to succeed.

Drive safely, my new friends on the road!

Download the New Driver Rental Car Agreement here: https://bit.ly/new-driver-rental-agreement

52 Weeks of Gratefulness #15 – Hanging Out With Our Boys

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com - 52 Weeks of Gratefulness #15 – Hanging Out With Our Boys
Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com - 52 Weeks of Gratefulness #15 – Hanging Out With Our Boys

In Week 15 of 52 Weeks of gratefulness I give thanks for hanging out with our boys.

Mom’s out of town.

She’s the fun one, always coming up with fun things to do.

I’m not great at that.

I don’t think in terms of, “Oh, that would be fun to do.”

I think in terms of accomplishing things, “It would be cool if X existed, to accomplish Y or if the boys were exposed to Z”.

So, I plan “fun”.

I know. Horrible.

So, I Google “fun things to do with young adults” and break out a spreadsheets to sort possible activities by distance and time required.

True story.

As I discuss the possibilities with our boys: hiking, miniature golf, fishing with Granddad, etc., Chris said, “I don’t care what we do. As long as I’m with y’all.”

(How did pepper get in my eyes?!)

They then conclude together, almost simultaneously, “Let’s get on Minecraft! We haven’t played with you in forever, Dad.”

And, for three hours that’s what we do.

My eldest son, Chris, takes note of the spawning point as I figure out how to get logged in, remarking, “I’ll help Dad get to the camp” because we’re playing survival and he knows I’m horrible at the game.

We talk. Challenges we face in the game spur a host of conversations about all sorts of things like ambitions, experiences, ideas and attitudes about life.

We laugh as we each die in the most ridiculous ways, mostly me (e.g. “brainflurry dies attempting to swim in lava.”)

Afterward, my youngest son, Roman, says, “I made an awesome soup the other day, can I make you some Dad?” and then proceeds to cook for us.

I couldn’t have asked for a better day.

And, I didn’t plan any of it.

Awesome things happen around awesome people, when you let it.

My kids are awesome. My wife is awesome.

I’m grateful.

#52WoG

From Father To Son: Gifts And Good Works

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com Father To Son: Gifts and Good Works

Ephesians 2:10
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

Yesterday, I shared with you that God has given each of us gifts and a heart for a specific good work.

We are most satisfied and fulfilled when we’re doing what we’re made to do.

There are so many voices about who we should be and what we should do that it can get confusing. But, if I want to know what something is made for, it’s best to ask the one who made it.

Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.”

The Word shows us the way we should go.

It’s a journey of discovery as we learn more about our Creator and explore doing things we believe that are good and pleasing to Him.

Here are some questions that have helped me along my journey of finding the things that I’m made to do (I’m still learning everyday):

What problem(s) do you see that you have a burden to solve? Or, what do you think should exist or there should be more of that you have a burden to help create?

Right now, I am investing time into learning to become a better coder so that I can earn more to help more people. One of the things I want to do is to help the marginalized and underserved leverage technology to meet their financial needs and then build wealth (thrive).

Give some thought to those questions and let us know if there are any things you believe you have a heart to do.

We’d love to support to you on your journey of finding the good work you’re made to do.

We love you!

The Luckett Family Creed

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com Luckett Family Creed

What do you do when a place is dark where people can barely see, they’re stumbling over things, crashing into each other and getting hurt? 

You add light.

We believe that God is the source of all light.

Our response to darkness in the world; to the problems we see, is to be light so those around us can find the Way.

The way we “be light” is to live and teach what we learn from God. The Way we learn from God is through God’s Son Jesus the Christ.

This is not just an idea. I wake up every day working by the grace of God to contribute light in some way to those around me, starting with each of you.

And, if you’re not actively being light or reflecting it, you are being something that blocks light -causing darkness.

God has given each of us gifts and a heart to address specific needs in our world, so there are many ways to be light.

Over the years by living in our home, you’ve either heard or experienced it in some way implicitly, but I want to state explicitly how our family seeks to be light.

What are we doing as a family?

Our family creates healthy places to nurture fruitful people, always starting with you.

We aim to promote “homes”; ecosystems of well-being by targeting specific areas (think our family, community, schools, etc.) and trying to cultivate as many people there to help and not harm those around them.

Why are we doing it?

Our family’s top priority is to promote Life and to help people thrive. Life is having a heart that results in a healthy relationship to everything around you; promoting life and not death. We believe that you get this life through believing Jesus. To thrive is to have well-being that overflows into others. That means having enough (spiritually, physically and materially) to meet your needs, enough to enjoy and enough to share.

Why am I telling you this?

So that you understand our motivation, why we get up every morning, why we make the decisions that we make, how our resources are allocated and why. And, so you can choose whether you want to participate at a level beyond compulsory obedience.

Our decision making calculus is simple: make the choice(s) that results in the most people  having Life and thriving, always starting with those entrusted to our care (you).

The ultimate vision is the Great Home which is the church; a network of individual homes that work together and are committed to being healthy places where people can share Life and thrive. Through fellowship with people we’ve invested in and others who are like-minded, our goal is to spread light throughout the world.

 

When Doing Good Doesn’t Seem To Pay

Frustrated and feeling overlooked, he still flashed a smile to his teammates, congratulating them on their touchdowns. After the game, sensing his dejection I said, “Work hard and keep finding ways to get open. It will come.” I then lauded him for having a good attitude even when things didn’t turn out the way he had hoped. I said, “You did the right thing, son.” He retorted, “What good is it to do the right thing, when it doesn’t get you anywhere?” I replied softly, “I’d take a good conscience over a good moment any day.”

He turned and looked at me for a moment, seeming to consider my words before looking out of the window. I hope he got it.

First posted on Facebook September 23, 2016 at 7:42am

Nothing New Under The Sun

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Son, I know you’re eager to leave home and take off with your friends because you all can do life better. I sincerely pray so. But dismissing what’s happening around us today as someone else’s problems will doom you to repeat the same mistakes.

The oversimplified solution is to merely shed ourselves of our parent’s generation’s thinking. I get that and once believed it. But, I offer you this wisdom: “There is nothing new under the sun.”

It has been my experience that the problems that currently plague our world are nothing new, they’re the same, old, bad ideas rearing their heads in different ways. It’s worth researching, contemplating and discussing today’s problems and how we got here -now, for your generation to even begin to have a hope of avoiding its trappings.