Tag Archives: testimony

The Message That Changed My Life

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com - The Message That Changed My Life

The message that changed my life:

God is good*.
I can be with God.
God wants to be with me.

These were not the exact words that were used by the person God was using to reach me. I believe the actual words were more like “God does not hate you.”

But, it wasn’t really about the words but the Spirit of what was being conveyed. And,

“God is good*.
I can be with God.
God wants to be with me.”

is what I “heard” or more like “felt” or “came into knowing” at the moment of my conversion — when I came to faith in God through Jesus Christ, though I could not have articulated it at the time. It was a new, foreign sensation that I had no categories for.

* And the sense that “God is good” was far greater than God just being something pleasant or enjoyable but that God satisfies everything perfectly. He satisfies what everything else could not. He is what I was missing. God IS good, the critical element that determines whether something is good. Everything that is truly good is of Him.

I came to faith due to an encounter with a fruit of the Spirit that was expressed by another believer because the fruit had the Seed in it and it was being received by a broken, repentant heart.

The message was Gospel and (ex)changed my life. As a starving, existentially empty man, “God is good. I can be with God and God wants to be with me,” even despite my grave and often intentional offense, was the best thing I’ve ever heard.

If you’re hungry and in want, God through me invites you to taste and see that the Lord is good!

Tough Love

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com - Tough Love

One dollar and twenty-five cents in quarters is all that I have. I take a deep, quivering breath, pick up the handset and feed the coins into the payphone at the corner of the gas station that would later become Strange Brew coffee house.

I push dial the number to call home to Jackson, Mississippi. The first ring lasts for an eternity. Mom answers. We exchange pleasantries and I nervously ask, “May I to speak to Dad?”

I’m starving. My head hurts, I’m so hungry. Then I hear the rustle of the phone exchanging hands.

“Hey Dad. I’m out of food. Can you send me some money for groceries?” The question hangs in the air a bit before my father calmly replies, “Welcome to the real world, son.” Click.

When I was younger, I shared that story to make my father out to be a villain. The hearer would often respond, “How awful. That’s cruel.” But, what they didn’t know was, at that time, I was living lasciviously, wastefully and in rebellion. Nobody could tell me anything. I did as I pleased and my situation was the consequence.

What is clear now that I didn’t see then, was that my dad’s objective for me was to choose a good and productive path. And before I could do that, I had to see for myself what a worthless and destructive path I was on. I had to come to a place where I recognized that my lifestyle, which seemed good (fun and pleasurable) at the time, was not good. I had to see that my choices were producing outcomes I really did not want. In the words of scripture, “I had to come to the end of myself,” (Luke 15:16-17). I had to realize there was a better way. I’ve been seeking it ever since.

There was no greater kindness than for my father to allow me to be confronted with my error rather than help me continue in something that would hurt me. Love “does no harm” and does not always look like hugs and kisses.

Originally posted by Paul Luckett to Facebook here.

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The Source Of My Peace

Paul Luckett | Brainflurry.com Where My Peace Comes From

A couple of nights ago while in bed, I heard the winds howl and the rain beat outside, but I slept in perfect peace because, though the dangers outside were real, my house was secure. I remember when this was not the case.
 
I have had a lot of sleepless nights, moments in my life where I didn’t have peace because my peace was centered on something unstable: being accepted by people, being loved by my spouse, being liked by my children, by the sense of value I was provided by a certain lifestyle, by the security I got from how well things were going in my business or how much money I had in the bank, etc. – it was all so tenuous and uncertain.
 
But, I’m so glad to say that I finally have lasting peace.
 
This peace is built on the unchanging truth that good, meaning and satisfaction is in God alone. They do not exist anywhere else, only their deceptive, fleeting counterfeits.
 
I have these riches through the acceptance of His Son, Jesus. He ministers them to me through the Spirit and His Word.
 
I know and experience it most fully by allowing His ministry to flow through me toward others.
 
So, if I were to have everything else and not Him, it would be loss. If I were to lose everything else and have Him, it would be gain because He is an exceedingly greater treasure, making everything else worthless by comparison.
 
God is Good. Jesus loves me with an unfailing Love. So, good is always drawing near to me. I accept His love and I love Him. So, not only do I have Good and can never lose it, but I can also be part of it: a part of goodness, a part of beautiful, unfailing Love, a part of light in the world!
 
There is nothing more good, meaningful and satisfying than this. This is what my peace is built on and no matter how turbulent and difficult things get around me, I can rest assured.
 
God loves you too. The peace comes from understanding the height, width and depth of that Love (Jesus) and accepting it.

Unhappy At Work: A Confession

Facebook---Image-Post-UnhappyAtWork

I was unhappy at work. I resented it. I felt unmotivated, tired and sad. I just didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t see the point.

I thought to myself, “If I were to do this everyday, it wouldn’t make any difference. I’d look up in ten years and be no better off and no further ahead. I’m going nowhere with this.”

I then asked myself what type of work would make me happy or would make doing it worthwhile? My answer: the kind of work that makes a lot of money, millions preferably. And, there was no way that I could see getting there doing what I’m doing now. The thought left me feeling stuck, without hope and dejected.

Then, I felt convicted and it occurred to me that my attitude about my work was out of line with God’s Word. Colossians 3:23 commands “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.” But, I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s impossible for me to obey this command. I can do the work, but I can’t do it from the heart (“heartily”) because I can’t want what I don’t want. That realization was a heart check and prompted the question from Genesis 3:9 where God asks Adam, “Where are you?” It made me consider whether I am in the flesh or the spirit. A preoccupation with materials things is a dead giveaway that I’m in the flesh but how did I get here? What moved me?

In the past, such states of discontent were triggered by feelings of inadequacy brought on by comparing myself to others or frustration with not being able to do something -namely, not being able to afford it. As I examined myself, I could not find any indication that covetousness was at play (this time). I couldn’t find where I was comparing myself to anyone. Then I contemplated whether I was frustrated. I determined that I was but what am I frustrated about? What brought this on?

Weeks back, we buried my Uncle John Jr. and death has a way of making you re-evaluate. One of my greatest desires is to be in a position to take care of my parents in what should be their golden years. My Uncle’s death was an urgent reminder that the clock was ticking, my parents are aging and I am nowhere near being ready financially. At the time, I did not recognize that these thoughts were even occurring. So, I did not bring these thoughts captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), that is, I did not evaluate whether their implications were lies that contradicted the truth of what God says. I was caught unaware and anxiety was sown in my heart.

Anxiety is a nasty demon –the hellish spawn of pride and fear. Pride makes you bigger than God and fear makes God smaller than your problem -a particularly potent and deadly combination. And that’s precisely where I’ve found myself, wrestling frantically with a problem bigger than I can handle, because what I think of God is so small.

How much has God brought me through? How many times have I been in need and He delivered? Time and time again God has sent who and what I need to get me where He wants me to be -every time. Every good thing I have is because of Him. So, why don’t I trust Him and would rather trust in uncertain riches (1 Timothy 6:17)?

I am glad, yes, glad that I don’t have millions of dollars because I’m obviously still at a level of maturity where I’d be foolish enough to trust it, become a slave to it, hurt others to keep it and probably jump out of a window if I lost it (1 Timothy 6:6-9). Instead, I want to be like Job who said, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21) or “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15). I want to be like Paul who said, “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” (Philippians 4:11) I don’t want satisfaction that’s dependent on my circumstances. Whether I’m CEO of a billion dollar corporation or peeling potatoes in a prison, I want to be just as full of His inexpressible joy, immovable, with the peace of God ruling in my heart.

Truthfully, it’s not that I’d rather trust uncertain riches than God. It’s that I was not vigilant and allowed something to distract me from my focus on God and I sank. I sank into my flesh and leaned to my own understanding rather than trusting Him. I moved from walking in the peace of the Spirit to allowing anxiety to make me discontent. What does God say about anxiety? “Be anxious for nothing” and then continues “but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” -Philippians 4:6. I failed to do the second part that prevents the first. I failed to be prayerful in everything. All prayer requires is to start by being honest about where I am and begin it with “Lord”. These two statements: “I am afraid I won’t have enough to take care of my parents” and “Lord, I am afraid I won’t have enough to take care of my parents” are similar but lead to very different places.

I repent and am resolved to be more vigilant to pray at all times, about all things and trust God. I trust that God is not merely some ethereal concept, but a real person with real power who is good and can indeed work all things together for good (Romans 8:28). So, I can be joyful and faithful with what’s in front of me, confident that He will work all things out and order my steps in the appropriate course of action (Psalm 37:23) to bring Him glory because that is what I want, or should want, above all.

It is a true and faithful saying that I cannot want what I do not want. So, when I find myself not wanting what He wants (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) or unable to want what He commands, I need a new heart. My prayer today is, “Lord, please give me a heart to want what You want. Give me a heart that delights in You, that enjoys and is completely satisfied with every good and perfect thing that is in You. I ask these things following the pattern of your Son Jesus the Christ (in His name) and for His sake. Amen.”

Love Lifted Me

Starkville Cloudy Sky

“I’ve messed up,” I say to myself looking up at a grey winter sky. It was true, I had really made a mess of things. I had gotten kicked out of school, lost a full scholarship, stolen my Dad’s credit card and racked up $30,000 dollars in charges taking multiple women out at a time, I abandoned my mother, was totally not there for my little brother, I had been fired from J.C. Penney’s for stealing and had been evicted from my apartment in College Station just a little more than a month earlier. I was a wretch. Now, I’m on campus, out in the cold, staring down at a bright yellow boot on the place I called home -my car.

I’m angry but not angry. I’m sad but not sad. Those things are there but I’ve tipped beyond feeling. I’m resigned. “I’m done. There’s no point,” I think. But before I end it all, I felt the overwhelming need to apologize. I wanted absolution. I remembered back when I interned at Entergy in Jackson, MS, there was a man who knew I was going to Mississippi State that told me to visit his friend, Dr. Gregory Jones. And, at that time, Dr. Jones had an office at the Baptist Student Union. So, I trek across campus, walk into the BSU and am met by a large, bald-headed man with silver aviator style glasses sitting atop round, rosy cheeks that seemed to be permanently fixed in a grin. Wasting no time, I ask, “May I talk to you?” He ushers me into his office. With tears, I immediately began to share everything I had done wrong or even thought I had done wrong since leaving home.

Dr. Jones sat all the way back in his chair, his face now more stern, squared his body to mine, leaned forward slowly, resting his elbows on his desk with his large hands clasped and said out of nowhere, “God does not hate you.” As though he could see me mentally recoiling from the notion, he continued, “How do I know? Because, He sent Help just for people who makes mistakes.” Dr. Jones talked for several more minutes but I don’t remember what he said. I could not hear him. His voice became muffled as though he were speaking from another room. I was shell-shocked. My hardened heart was being eviscerated by the blast of those words,

“God does not hate you.”

It felt like there was Something in that room besides Dr. Jones and I. I was convicted but no longer felt condemned. I could see the gravity of my error but was somehow no longer under the weight of them. There was a compassion and a hopeful, alternative view of my future. Something shifted in me. Though nothing had changed about my circumstances, there was suddenly power to go on. It was that day that I looked upon Christ and was saved. And, this is not hyperbole, on a dreary, cold winter day, the clouds parted and the sun shone in the office at that very moment.

Pastor Gregory Jones was an agent of grace. He depended on it and shared it freely. As a result, I am here to share this testimony. Dr. Jones would often say, “You don’t have to be perfect, just available.” I thank God that He made Dr. Gregory Jones available to me.

I love you Rev. Jones.

Originally posted to Facebook on January 24, 2017. It is being posted here again in loving memory of my friend and Pastor, Dr. Gregory Wilson Jones.