Originally posted on Facebook on Monday, April 21, 2025.

This is me “testing the waters” while clinging to solid ground.

Jesus says, “Come,” and I want to—but I have no earthly idea how.

Lately, this is my struggle with church—the real variety.

I understand the call to Communion—to abide in Christ with His beloved.

It’s the abiding part that I don’t understand.

“Work” I get. That is why I’m most comfortable being around people when I’m clear on what we’re doing—and why you’ll usually find me at any gathering busying myself with something.

But abiding—I do not understand.

Something in me is fundamentally broken. All my life, I’ve envied the ease that other people have with one another—the way water molecules naturally cling and move with one another—flow.

I, on the other hand, seem to be innately hydrophobic. Like a bead of oil, I can be in the same place as water, but not be with it. I’m not connected in the same way others are—I just oddly float on top.

That’s never felt great. It always caused me to die a little with every interaction.

So, when Jesus says, “Come,” I want to—but it’s terrifying. Which is why I’m so glad this interaction with Peter is written in Matthew 14:27–33.

The disciples are in the boat during a storm, and Jesus is walking on the water.

Peter: “If it is You, Lord, command me to come to where You are.”

Jesus: “Come.”

Peter: “But the waves and the wind are dangerous.”
And Peter starts to sink.

Jesus: “That is true. But I am more true.”
Then Jesus stretched out His hand, caught him, and taught him:
“O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

So, I’m coming, Jesus. I still don’t know how—but may I not doubt.
I probably will doubt. But I’m coming anyway, prepared to get wet.

I trust You will not let me ultimately fall.

And, that whatever is broken in me You will heal along The Way.

Here I come.

#HereICome #WhatIsChurch #perfectourlove