Originally posted on Facebook on Thursday, July 29, 2021.
In Week 31 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for little acts of consideration.
I'm a creature of habit. I eat the same thing for breakfast everyday: two slices of blackened turkey, two waffles, a boiled egg and a bowl of oatmeal topped with raspberries, blueberries and walnuts.
Our family usually does its grocery shopping on Friday but it's Wednesday and I don't have enough walnuts to make it to the end of the week. So, I put it on my list of things to pick up the next time I leave the house. But as our family gathers together for dinner later that evening, I notice in the kitchen a brand new bag of walnuts.
My wife saw I was running low and picked up the walnuts on her way home from work. It was a gesture that made me feel loved.
Love, I find, is often expressed in the extra and unnecessary -that is, not doing just enough but acting out of an overflow of care and affection; an unsolicited touch from your spouse, a surprise visit from a friend or a voluntary act of consideration from a stranger.
The seemingly little things are what often make up the most significant moments of our life. My wife's act indicated to me that she saw me, that she was paying attention to what I do and was willing to go out of her way to help me.
In a world that can be incredibly lonely and cruely selfish, her "little" act of consideration serves as a reminder I can tuck away in my heart that there is hope, there is good and there is evidence that someone, somewhere cares about me. And, it makes me want to be that for others. Thank you, Melissa Luckett. I'm grateful. #52WoG
Originally posted on Facebook on Tuesday, July 27, 2021.
One day my family was out for a walk along a sidewalk that runs directly beside a road. Usually on these treks, my wife and I tried to put ourselves between our kids and the road. On this particular day, our youngest, who may have been five or six at the time, got excited about something he saw in the road and bolted toward the street. At that very moment a car was coming and in a split second I grabbed him by his neck and snatched him out of the road, just in time. With my hand still around his throat, I scolded him.
I'm am an imperfect father and there's a lot about that incident I regret. Shortly after the incident I kneeled down, hugged and apologized to him because I knew that I had scared him. But, was I rough with my son because I was angry with him or because I did not love him? Far from it! His life was dear to me and I was willing to use every means at my disposal to save his life. And, I was angry, not at him, but at the threat to his life.
I find myself ashamed and heartbroken today for our failing as so-called Christians, for the damage we're doing by using Christ's name and the church to justify ourselves and further our own interests rather than ministering, healing and binding up. I am very angry! But, the Holy Spirit impresses it upon me to remember that I am dealing with those God loves. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son; that whosoever believes in Him, may not perish, but may have life everlasting…" -John 3:16. If in my anger, I desire anyone's harm, I am in sin and that spirit is not of God. (Luke 9:55)
All that I do must flow out of God's heart for people. God loves them and His desire is that they may live and not perish. Whatever our gift, whatever our ministry, this is its fountainhead: God's love expressed in the person of Christ. I could preach the most powerful sermon, I could articulate the most profound exegesis, I could give the most compelling argument, I could be indisputably factually correct, but if I fail on this one point; to express the love of God, I'm dead wrong. Because, that's the whole point.
So, whether we're of the same mind, walking by the same rule or if I'm compelled to snatch others out of the fire, whatever I do should be done in love. #preachingtomyself
Originally posted on Facebook on Sunday, July 25, 2021.
In Week 30 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for a moment of mercy.
I was traveling for work, on the way to my next service call when I hear the sudden blurp of a police siren and see blue lights in my rear view mirror. My mind was on where I was going so I didn't really know if I had been speeding or not. So, I let my window down and proceed to make sure both of my hands were visible and placed them on the steering wheel. The officer came to my window and said, "I've got you for an expired tag. License, please." I hand her my license and less than five minutes later she comes back and says, "Someone at Command says you're good and to let you go. Get that tag fixed and have a nice day." And as suddenly as she appeared, she left.
I deserved a ticket. I was given mercy. It made me want to do better. I believe that was the point. There's some good preaching in there. I'm grateful. #52WoG
Originally posted on Facebook on Wednesday, July 21, 2021.
Today, I called technical support, a woman answered and I reported the issue I was troubleshooting and asked if their was anyone who could help me with it.
No big deal, right?
Wrong. Had that been a man on the phone, even if he were the receptionist, I probably would have instinctively asked can YOU help me with that?
I know full well, intellectually and experientially that women are technicians too. But, before I had a chance to even register it, oppressive gender stereotypes that have been prevalent in our culture factored into to a mindless, prejudiced and sexist response.
Rather than minimize it, attempt to explain away the faux pas or try to avoid being labeled a sexist by delineating all the ways I do and have supported women, I need to focus on the greater harm done by a persistent system of oppression and my contribution to it, instead of the lesser harm of a temporary backlash I may experience by admitting it.
To achieve the just, equitable and thriving society I desire, I need to graduate from "I don't have a sexist bone in my body" to "I don't want my neighbor or community harmed by the cancer of sexism. So, I will actively fight it and work to dismantle it -starting in my own thinking."
I repent, am deeply sorry and will be vigilant to confront this evil wherever I may find it, for the well-being of us all.
Originally posted on Facebook on Saturday, July 17, 2021.
In Week 29 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for Jackson State University and their summer program for entering high school students offered through Howard Hughes Medical Institute.
My wife and I are currently binging Bill Cosby's "A Different World" on Amazon Prime Video. The show is about the life of students at the fictional HBCU, Hillman College. A recurring theme is Hillman's purpose in providing a place of belonging, support and academic rigor for students of color. This brought to mind my experience in a summer program at a school in my home town of Jackson, Mississippi -the historically black Jackson State University.
When I was growing up, college was something that was mentioned but sparingly. As you progress through school, and if you seem to do well grade-wise, it's a subject that comes up more often but still tangentially. It was when I started middle school at Bailey Magnet that my teachers, administrators and counselors started talking about preparing for college with a sense of expectation. But, the real turning point for me was a program that my counselor, Connie Griffin, signed me up for during the summer between my 8th grade and 9th grade year. The program was called Howard Hughes Medical Institute.
I remember vividly my whole family walking me into the male dormitory on the campus of Jackson State University. I remember it smelling like Lysol and bleach that the stewards had just used to clean prior to our arrival. I remember checking in at the same time as kids who were attending the Upward Bound program. I was issued a dorm room key and a JSU meal card with my name on it. I was so excited. I would be staying on campus for weeks, just like a college student! I remember riding on the elevator where there was a solitary, exposed light bulb. Sometimes, when a group of Upward Bound kids were on the elevator –for sport, someone would reach up, partially unscrew the light bulb so that it would go out and they would then commence to throwing haymakers at everyone on the elevator -in the dark. This wild melee would continue until the elevator reached its destination, which seemed like an eternity. College lesson number 1: take the stairs.
Shenanigans aside, I met a number of wonderful, smart and talented black people during my stay. I explicitly say "black people" because in a number of spaces where access for black people is limited, there's a pervasive and pernicious notion that if you're smart, talented, present well or are well spoken, that you're somehow "different" -a unicorn. But, on Jackson State's campus, I was surrounded by them. The first one I met was my brilliant roommate, Flynn Wallace, who was already settled in the room. He had his bed made, clothes arranged and hung neatly in the closet and food stuff stacked tidily on the counter. We became fast friends. Another that comes to mind, but her name I can't recall, was a poet whose work was already being published. Having heard her work, I'm sure she's well on her way to joining the ranks of Maya Angelou.
There were a series of amazing experiences during that program but two stand out. The first being where I and my fellow camp participants were dissecting live frogs in the biology lab. We had to first anesthetize the frogs and remove a portion of its skull to expose the brain. We would then move an electronic probe to different sections of the brain to observe its effect on motor response. Well, one student had not quite fully anesthetized her frog and the lobotomized amphibian starting hopping around the lab and jumped straight into one girls chest. She bout died!
The second notable experience was with a professor named Dr. Love. Dr. Love was the only instructor that gave homework during the camp and it was substantial. She was a drill sergeant who conducted our classes as though we were already college students. More than any other instructor, she gave a number of stern, lengthy and impassioned lectures. I didn't like it at the time but what I got from her was that excellence was fully expected because we were fully capable of it.
This camp was pivotal and imparted to me three things:
1. Higher education is and should be challenging, but I can do it.
2. College is a place where I belong and can excel.
3. I am not alone.
These ideals are what sealed the deal for me and moved college from a concept to certainty. These ideals are the heritage given to the black community by historically black colleges and universities. So, especially for people of color, whether you attended a PWI or an HBCU, we all owe an enormous debt to historically black colleges and universities like Jackson State University. I'm also thankful for the vision and grossly understated influence Dr. Bill Cosby had in creating shows like the aptly named "A Different World", that offered a glimpse into a different world of possibility through television for people who might not have imagined that such wonderful options were possible for them. I'm grateful. #52WoG
Originally posted on Facebook on Saturday, July 10, 2021.
In Week 28 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for reuniting with loved ones.
The past few weeks of this summer has been such a blessing because I've been able to embrace people who are dear to me and that we've not seen for more than 13 months out of precaution for their safety and that of the community at large due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
Every hug was more tender, each laugh richer and every meal shared together more precious.
I thank God for the science that made safer reunion possible and for the men and women who dedicated themselves to the discipline -pulling off nothing less than a medical miracle, developing an effective vaccine in months, not years, for a newly emergent threat and creating the supply chain necessary to deliver it on a massive, global scale.
Thanks to these brilliant people, I was able to embrace my loved ones with the confidence of knowing that I was giving love that does no harm. I'm thankful. #52WoG
Originally posted on Facebook on Saturday, July 3, 2021.
In Week 27 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for Lannie Spann McBride.
“I am a promise. I am a possibility. I am a promise with a capital ‘P’. I am a great big bundle of Po-ten-ti-ality…”
Many may know Lannie Spann McBride as an award winning singer, musician, writer and actress, but I came to know her as my music teacher at G.N. Smith Elementary school in Jackson, Mississippi. And, one of the things I remember most vividly was her kind, warm spirit as she taught our class the tune "I am a promise."
Even as I hum the tune today, an involuntary smile stretches across my face. I can still see Mrs. McBride in that music class. She would often snatch her hands away from the piano between chords and motion with both hands, drawing a big smile across her face, instructing the class to smile as we sung -all without missing a beat. She told us that smiling affected the music. But in truth, as I’m sure she knew, it affected us more. It was her influence that led to my playing piano in elementary, violin in middle school and competing in classical voice as a junior and senior in high school. Though my path would not ultimately lead to music, she forever changed the trajectory of my life. Because, she made me believe the words of that song. I'm grateful. #52WoG