Originally posted on Facebook on Friday, January 22, 2021.
In Week 4 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for Brother Jerry Linhares. Despite what we'd like others to believe by the face we put forward, marriage is not always safe harbor, sometimes it's a war zone. There has been more than one occasion where Melissa and I almost didn't make it. But, God. Our family is where it is today because of the people God placed in our lives to bear with our weaknesses and lead us into the deeper things of God. Jerry Linhares was such a person.
The first time I met Brother Jerry, our marriage was in trouble. Both Melissa and I were fixated on what we were not getting and how the other fell short. We chose to meet with Brother Jerry because he was widely known for his wise, compassionate and Spirit-filled marriage counseling. But most importantly, neither of us knew him. That was important because our shared goal was to find a neutral third-party who could independently verify how wrong the other was.
On the day of our counseling session, we met in a small cozy office tucked away at the end of the hall at New Covenant Church. Brother Jerry allowed each of us an opportunity to speak, sharing our perspective on the problem. It didn't take long for the tension to rise. While we were pointing fingers and building our prosecutorial cases against each other, Pastor Jerry looked at me without the slightest hint of condemnation and gently said, "Paul, the problems won't change with a new face and a new name."
His statement left me dumbstruck. He did that Jesus thing. You know, where you come to Jesus with one question and He answers another question entirely? He answered the unspoken question, the one I was already contemplating inwardly -the question that underpinned my response to the problem at hand. He, as a vessel of Christ, spoke directly to the heart of the matter. What Pastor Jerry taught me that day was that the solution to the problem was not divorce, nor was it focusing on the constant I could not change (Melissa). The solution was focusing on the One who could change both constants (me and Melissa) and change the product entirely.
That is but one of the things I learned from a man who loved God and consequently loved people. Our lives have been forever changed by his. I've recently learned that Brother Jerry Linhares is no longer with us but is now present with the Lord. I thank God that I had a chance to share Life with Brother Jerry and thank Mrs. Susan Broomfield Linhares and Lindsay Linhares for sharing him with us and so many others. I am grateful. #52WoG