Originally posted on Facebook on Saturday, September 6, 2025.

When I married my wife, I entered a covenant where I accepted (whether I realized it or not) that the glory of oneification was worth more than whatever I might lose in the process.

That means there are sacred (set apart) things that I share exclusively with my wife and if we are apart, they are things I do not participate in—things I willingly go without, as I wait and prepare in eager expectation for our communion to be restored.

This is marriage mentality: "I prepare a place and wait for you."

Whore mentality is: "I sought satisfaction elsewhere because I wasn't getting what I wanted from you." This is the spirit of adultery and idolatry that destroys communion with God, each other and the very fabric of society.

The purpose of our temporal marriages is to point to an eternal reality: a right way of relating—first to God, and then to each other. The ultimate aim of marriage is to reflect and reveal the perfect way of relating that is within God.

So marriage is a man and woman coming together saying, "Let us be God's image"—submitting our lives to God for oneification, which requires all that I am and costs all that I have. The glory that is before us is greater than whatever we may lose in the process because God is made manifest—the greatest and highest good.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church."
— Ephesians 5:31-32

Marriage is a wonderful and impossible ministry. Good thing, then, it's done by God. (Matthew 19:4-6)

#theministryofmarriage #marriage #oneification #perfectourlove

Originally posted on Facebook on Wednesday, September 3, 2025.

A lot of days I wonder whether anything I do matters.

The challenge of being salt and light is that their benefit is largely imperceptible to themselves.

Their purpose is not for themselves but for others: “You are the salt of the earth… [without it], how shall it be seasoned?” and “You are the light of the world… it gives light to all who are in the house.”

Salt doesn’t taste itself. Light doesn’t see itself. They do not act upon themselves, so they don’t experience their effect. That means I can’t measure the effectiveness of what I do by how it feels to me.

I don’t season or shine for myself. So, for who then?

For the benefit of others, but ultimately for the Father—the one who made me salt and light.

I have to trust that His making of me is effectively working to achieve the good that He purposed. (Ephesians 2:10, 4:16)

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” — Matthew 5:16

It is for Him.

My constant focus, then, must be to simply love Him (we love God through obedience, which is not forced but flows from our love for Him [John 14:15, 1 John 5:3])—accepting that there is a great deal I do not perceive nor understand, and trusting that my labor in the Lord is never in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." — Romans 8:28

So the challenge is to live by faith and not by sight—not measuring our effectiveness by what we perceive, but by trusting that God is good, He wastes nothing and is using you in ways for good that others might experience, even if you don't.

Season and Shine.

God is using it beyond what we can see.

#BeyondWhatICanSee #SaltAndLight #SeasonAndShine #PerfectOurLove

Originally posted on Facebook on Sunday, August 31, 2025.

"People take kindness for granted, or they confuse kindness for weakness…"

Have you ever had that thought?

I have—very recently.

And the logic continues, "Therefore, I'm going to stop doing x, y or z, and start dealing with people based on how they deal with me…"

The moment I had that thought, the Holy Spirit hit me with the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:13, "You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing…"

"Salt" as it's used here is not a quality but an identity.

If we really consider the flesh's logic to stop giving kindness because I'm not receiving it, it reveals that we're only giving it to receive it. It may reveal that kindness is not really a part of who I am but rather a tool of manipulation—something I do to get something I want.

Consider Jesus' question: "How will it be seasoned?" As disciples of Christ, we are agents of transformation. How will a parched and dry land be refreshed if we only give the land the water it gives us? But if we truly belong to the Lord, He says He causes to flow from our hearts "rivers of living water." (John 7:38)

"If the salt loses its flavor […] It is then good for nothing…"

But I am confident of better things for us, for God's beloved…

I can no more stop being kind any more than sodium chloride (NaCl, salt) can stop containing sodium (Na). Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit that is in me through faith in Jesus Christ.

We must remember, even in the face of hostility, that we are called with a purpose. We are sent for the same purpose our wonderful Savior was sent—"that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10)

Don't mishear me. I'm not saying that always looks like hugs and kisses.

But what I am saying, is "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21) Do not allow anyone to make you like those in the world around us—becoming tasteless salt.

You are salt.

Don't allow anyone or anything to change that.

Fulfill your ministry.

#SaltShouldNeverLoseItsFlavor #Kindness #perfectourlove

Originally posted on Facebook on Friday, August 29, 2025.

What is a man?

I remember when my boys (now young men) and I had this conversation.

My challenge to them was to define manhood without defining women—in other words, to define yourself without comparing yourself to others.

The answer is simple: a man is a mature male. Full stop.

Maturity is the ability to take care of oneself. And the more people you’re able to take care of, the more mature, and thereby the more manly, you are.

Jesus is the picture of manliness.

Because that’s really what’s at the heart of the question. What our young men are asking is, “What should being a man look like?”

Jesus.

There’s no one more manly than Him. He put us all on His back.

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
— Mark 10:45

#HealthyMasculinity #Manhood #PerfectOurLove

Originally posted on Facebook on Monday, August 25, 2025.

Something marriage teaches me in a way nothing else could is that one of the main reasons for conflict between people is that we're all already hurt.

The offense at hand is often your injury aggravating my injury, and our injuries often express themselves as some form of insecurity.

But what if one of us was secure?

How much more could we solve problems when we're not preoccupied with trying to be made whole because in Christ we already are?! Not just whole, but abundant, with more than enough to share!

Imagine the wealth we could build if we were free to tend only to another's hurt, helping them move from broken to whole, from whole to abundant. Imagine the peace and harmony we could enjoy.

This is what Christ affords. He makes us not only whole but rich, for the provision of others because to whom much is given, much is required.

Because my identity and worth rest in being His—not on what you've said or done—I can focus on resolving your hurt and be no poorer for it. This is what it means for the strong to bear with the weak. Look at Jesus.

I cannot overstate this: I'm not saying "I must always be the strong one".

To do this we need the church—and I'm not talking about the building with the cross and steeple—you need to surround yourself with the Spirit-filled body of Christ who are stronger than you. Because we all need to regularly heal and be refreshed: to be fed and have our feet washed. We cannot give what we have not received. We need Christ's Spirit and His body.

#ChristMakesUsWholeToHealOthers #reconciliation #church #perfectourlove

Originally posted on Facebook on Sunday, August 24, 2025.

You're holding it wrong…

The cross has no place in justifying our worldview or political positions.

The cross is not a weapon that we use to overpower others.

The cross is where we're the weakest.

The cross is where we look to Jesus' example and join Him in obedience to God—where in humble submission, we lay everything down and die daily for the reconciliation of the world. And in such a pitiable state, we trust God to make His strength perfect in our weakness.

Everyone today wants to be perceived as powerful and deal with others from a position of strength, but…

The cross is where we're the weakest and where God is the strongest.

Lay it down—your life, in love—and take up your cross and follow Jesus.

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus"
— Philippians 2:5

Originally posted on Facebook on Saturday, August 23, 2025.

Most of the things we busy ourselves with don't matter at all. The only things that truly matter are those things that matter when security fails.

What really matters isn't the work I do, but how I do it and whether it builds people, relationships with people, and relationships between people.

It's about the life that comes from God's garden—abiding and working to take care of people by His grace, because at the end of the day what matters—what we materially and spiritually need are others.

“And I say to you, make friends for yourselves by unrighteous mammon, that when you fail, they may receive you into an everlasting home."
— Luke 16:9

Originally posted on Facebook on Tuesday, August 12, 2025.

The cross looked like failure,
when in truth it was the ultimate victory.
God took our ugliness and made it into something glorious.

There are seasons of life like that.

Sometimes, I can't see past the cross.
My imperfect attempts at obedience seem only to lead to failure and suffering.

But my hope is not in what I've done, but who I've done it for.
God is faithful with what we commit to Him.

So commit it all to Him, my successes and failures,
trusting that God is good,
that everything He does is good,
and that He's working all things together for good.

He can even take broken things and make them into something beautiful.

Psalm 19 says God's handiwork—which we see afterward, not beforehand—declares His glory.

Therefore I aspire to be sold out to this:
"Above all, God, be glorified,"

Even if I don't get to see the result in my lifetime, like the heroes of faith.

Or even if it results in pain and suffering, and costs me everything, like Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.

Who You are and what You do are wonderful. There is no greater cause.

I hope to delight with You in the coming work You've already accomplished—the joy set before You.

Steady me with Your heart by Your Spirit, Lord Jesus.

"Father, glorify Your name."

Amen.

Originally posted on Facebook on Tuesday, August 5, 2025.

My soul is heavy.
A voice says, "You accomplish nothing. You're failing."

And every little thing that happens, every misstep, every mishap, every dry interaction with people reinforces that.

But my spirit responds, "My hope is not in my accomplishment. My hope is in God."

And I am comforted by that. Yes, though I am sad, I am deeply encouraged by that.

What I do, I give to Him.

He is faithful to keep what I have committed to Him—my successes and my failures—and to work all things together for good.

So, I press forward in faith with that earnest expectation.

Originally posted on Facebook on Saturday, August 2, 2025.

How am I?

This is a question I ask myself often.

In my culture, that's expressed as, "You good?"

But walking with Jesus has reshaped how I think of wellness—or what "good" even means. It's very counter to how we think about it in the world.

In the world, we tend to think of being well as having the things we want. But being the creature rather than the Creator, and lacking ultimate context, we do not have a full understanding even of what we individually need and should want to be well.

There have been times that I had all the things that should make someone satisfied and happy, and I was absolutely miserable.

When I ponder my best moments—where I was truly "good"—I find these things to be the defining contributors to well-being. And the more of them I have, the more I am well. Here are the levels:

Contributor: Knowledge of God
(who is good and encapsulates everything good)

Level 1: Glad
I have hope.

Contributor: Presence of God
(fellowship with God, being with God, participating in His work)

Level 2: Fulfillment
I am more than satisfied—lack of nothing and abundance to share.

Contributor: Approval of God
(knowing He is pleased with me)

Level 3: Ecstasy
I don't want to leave. There's absolutely nowhere I'd rather be.

Then there's this other dimension, another level that is not like the others—that's simultaneously the foundation, and the summit, the lowest level, and the highest.

Contributor: The Love of God

Level Always: Thankfulness

The contributor which is the Love of God is always there, so I can always be thankful.

"in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
— 1 Thessalonians 5:18

It is the beginning, the end, and all in all, the level that makes all the other levels possible—expressed fully in the person of Jesus Christ.

There is no wonder the Apostle Paul prays,

"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
— Ephesians 3:14-19

This is good. This is well-being.

And you know where I most often find it?

It's outside of my comfort zone, away from the things I tend to run to like isolation and indulgence.
It's in the fellowship of Christ's beloved,
in serving rather than being served.
in giving rather than receiving.

It's completely counterintuitive.

#EvaluatingWellbeing #HowAmI #good #perfectourlove