My heart’s divided.
My head is all over the place.
This problem. That problem. I’m pulled in a thousand different directions.
It’s hard to concentrate. I constantly jump from one thing to the other.
It’s difficult to stay on task because attacks are coming in from every side and each one feels like an existential threat, all the while I’m looking for THE problem to solve that will solve many, if not all, of the rest.
What’s the thing, if achieved, that will secure me, that will remove the terror of death and give me peace?
Sudden ruin is the anxiety of my heart.
To defeat a demon, you must make it take shape by uncovering its name.
What, exactly, am I afraid of?
I’m afraid of:
Someone dear to me languishing and dying in poverty and my having done nothing to improve their situation.
Losing my job.
Losing my clients.
Not having enough money to pay for our house, our cars, our bills, our streaming services, our debt, to keep the lights on and to have enough left over to enjoy any semblance of life such as eating out and taking an occasional trip for a change of scenery.
The discontent of others.
The disapproval of others.
Being unworthy of respect because I failed to achieve financial success.
Being alone.
I cast the demon out by bringing it into captivity of Christ.
“But if I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you. Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? And then he will plunder his house.”
— Matthew 12:28-29
I accept Christ as King who is stronger than my enemy.
“[…] on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.”
— Matthew 16:18
I then die to this world to be released from being acted upon as its subject and am raised up to sit with Christ who reigns in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6) and acts upon it—the government of Hell shall not prevail against the government of Heaven.
I accept the loss of all the things of this world and no longer work for them.
You can’t scare a dead man with death.
“Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ”
— Philippians 3:8
And I focus on the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.
I focus exclusively on gaining His character to be a vessel of His work—the blessed Oneness of all things in the Communion of God through Christ. And I trust Him for the rest.
“And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you.”
— Luke 12:29-31
The irony is, while I’ve been anxious, He’s been doing this all along. Imagine the joy and peace I could have enjoyed if I had trusted Him all this time instead of worrying and fretting?
I confess this sin and repent. Additionally, I die to the world and accept whatever loss comes with that. If in the course of following Christ it dies, it dies. I will not allow it to make me turn back.
“Remember Lot’s wife.”
— Luke 17:32
I will work with a heart committed to fostering Communion and bringing everything in my sphere onto the mat—into the order of God’s government so that they may experience His wonderful kingdom.
So, however small my sphere starts, the question is how does my love for God and what have I learned of Christ about how to govern inform how I use what’s in my hand at this moment to provide for my sphere and bring it into His kingdom order for the purposes of glorifying His wonderful name and drawing all men unto Him in Communion?
“He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.
Therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?
And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own?
No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”
— Luke 16:10-13
I want the true riches.
Practically, the way I provide for my sphere may look the same as any one else earning a living, but the reason and my reaction to the results will be drastically different, leading to drastically different outcomes—even materially, but especially spiritually.
The reason.
This is how I focus—remembering the Treasure I seek: God alone.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God.”
— Matthew 5:8
This is how a divided heart is made whole.
#anxiety #love #perfectourlove #GoodWorks
