January 2, 2022

Ugly House, Beautiful Home

Brainflurry - Paul Luckett Middle School Yearbook Picture

Brainflurry - Paul Luckett Highschool Yearbook Picture

Brainflurry - Paul Luckett childhood family picture

Brainflurry - Paul Luckett, Melissa Luckett with Denice and Nola at Disney on Ice

I hate my teeth.

They’ve always been a source of shame, embarrassment and have caused me to hide in some way or another nearly all of my life. Of course, there’s a lot more to my hiding than my teeth -namely that I had never quite felt good enough. And at the heart of that are some daddy issues mingled with church hurt that occurred during my formative years, but that’s another story for another time. Suffice it to say, I grew up with the misconception that you had to be perfect; attractive, flawless, never making a mistake -to be embraced, accepted and safe.

For a long time, I felt deeply unsafe.

I sought safety in a number of things that could not offer it; popularity, money and sex, only to find that it left me more insecure than before. Fast forward to my meeting Jesus in the BSU office of Dr. Gregory Jones and the overwhelming love I encountered at my absolute lowest point changed my life forever. Since that time, as I’ve walked with Jesus, He has been continually healing me, through His Word, from the lies that long tortured my soul and that have caused so much pain in and through my life. A major deliverance from feelings of inadequacies was my being given Christ-esteem: the notion that as a born again believer, my life including my identity is now in Christ. I am defined by what Christ has done and is doing in me rather than a temporary condition (like failure or achievement) while I’m in process of being conformed to His image (Colossians 3). This was a watershed moment in my life and one that has been deeply helpful. #christesteem

Another was given to me a few weeks ago: home.

As I wrestled with my appearance in the mirror, feeling unattractive (and therefore unsafe), I was reminded of times that I was safe – times that I was at home. I remembered that I have been blessed to have many homes; my mother, my grandfather’s house, Dr. Gregory Jones and his home, Greater Ebenezer M.B. Church, and the home of Willie and Mary Harris. It was this remembrance that actually inspired my expression of gratefulness for Mary Jean Harris.

Melissa and I have been blessed to travel a little and see some marvelous things. The Spirit brought to mind the mansions, grand buildings and lush hotels -some where we’ve even had opportunity to stay. Then He brought to mind the home of Willie and Mary Harris. And, it became plain to me. Of all the wonderful places I’ve seen and been, on any given day I would much rather be at the home of Willie and Mary Harris. Even though the outward appearance of the building could be considered shanty in comparison, when you were there, you were at home.

When I am at home somewhere, it’s the sense of being safe: loved, wanted and enjoyed that matters. Its outward appearance is of little concern. So, rather than focus on my on physical imperfections –the (natural) outward man that is perishing, it is better to focus on the (spiritual) inward man that is being perfected day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16). The truth is, I am safe in Christ (Luke 18:28-30, John 14:3, Romans 8:35-39) and the best way to experience that safety is to be that for others. Also, in the context of those we’ve lost, being to others what they’ve been to us, is a way of always having them.

The Holy Spirit’s message to me: be a home for others.

In one place it is written, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35) And with this latest revelation, I have a new and different appreciation for Mark 8:34-46 “whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.” It often amazes me how the things that make for our peace are so often counterintuitive.

In those moments where my attention is being drawn to my shortcomings in the flesh and I am again made to feel unsafe, rather than focus on me and what I can do to make myself feel better, I will instead remember the wonderful homes that so many have been for me, where people are safe: loved, wanted and enjoyed, and I will focus on being that for others.

In so doing, it puts me squarely in the fortress of God’s love and allows Him to use me to share a beautiful, glorious, everlasting home with others. #spirithome

December 22, 2021

The Height Of Church Error: The Dark Gift Of Christmas

Christmas represents the height of church error and consequently the height of iniquity in the world.

To draw unbelievers we incorporated their practices, even to the extent of creating idols and worshipping them.

We’ve created an entire season, so they’d stop worshipping their idols and worship ours -a demon whose name is More, the hellish spawn of greed, lust and discontent. We worship him saying, “More! More! There’s never enough!”

In service to this idol, we lie to our children outright, unwittingly discrediting The Way and impeaching ourselves as witnesses.

We tell our children myths and fairytales (Santa, etc.) to delight and control them and then expect them to believe our fantastical claims of faith. How, they could reason, is one different than the other?

If it were not enough to defile ourselves with idols and teach our children to do the same, we blaspheme and do it in Christ’s name.

But Christ did not come to give us what we want. We did not get to choose what we would get. And, what He offered we didn’t want. In fact, we were so offended at the Gift that we killed it. We seek satisfaction in our idols but instead find anxiety, burden and slavery. But rather than repent, we double down, thinking the answer is More.

But, so great is His love for us, that while we reject Him and make ourselves His enemy that He desires to give us the things that truly make for our peace – Himself. It is in a relationship with a loving, just and all-wise God that we are made whole because that was the purpose for which we were created. And, God sent His Son, Jesus the Christ, to utterly destroy anything that would separate us from Him -foremost our sin. When we believe Jesus, we are given the right to become children of God and look like Jesus; full of love, compassion and life that we share with the world!

This is the true gift. This is the purpose for which Christ came, to save us, transform us and unite us with the Father through Himself.

Repent. Believe Jesus Christ and receive the real gift.

Holy Savior Day

October 14, 2021

52 Weeks of Gratefulness #42 – Jannie Thompson

Janine Thompson with Ebenezer youth at old Burger King

Janine Thompson jump rope Ebenezer youth

In Week 42 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for the youngest person I know, Jannie Thompson.

Miss Jannie (as she’s affectionately known around my house) was one of the first people to welcome me when I visited Greater Ebenezer Missionary Baptist Church as a college student. If Ebenezer had a mascot, it would be Jannie Thompson. She is the personification of the down-home kindness and warmth that characterizes that fellowship.

I got to know Ms. Jannie mostly by serving with her in the youth ministry. Among the many things I’ve come to love about Ms. Jannie is her enthusiasm for life. Whatever the youth were doing, she was doing. It didn’t matter if it was kickball, jumping rope or racing, she was in it to win it.

She kept us grounded because she is unapologetically real. She is one of the kindest people I’ve met but she will slip off those shoes and earrings on you, if she has to. Because she was so real, our time together as a youth group was real. We didn’t pretend or play church. We wrestled with real problems, discussed what was happening today and talked about how to apply our faith to real life.

But perhaps what I appreciate most about Ms. Jannie was her openness and big heart. There were kids that came to our church hurt, confused and alone but always found a safe place with Jannie Thompson. I personally saw her be understanding, forgiving and take in scores of people into her life where she would love on them and where they would find healing. I was one them. I’m grateful. #52WoG

October 7, 2021

52 Weeks of Gratefulness #41 – Childhood Neighborhood

Image Courtesy of Google Maps

In Week 41 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for my childhood neighborhood.

I find the sound of lawn mowers strangely satisfying.

It elicits feelings of safety and security. When I was growing up as a kid in Jackson, Mississippi, lawn mowers were part of a cacophony of sounds that announced the arrival of a new Saturday morning. It meant it was sunny, the day was underway, the neighborhood was awake and that it was time to go out and play.

As I reflect back on this as an adult, it has another meaning that I didn’t consider consciously as a child but nonetheless planted the sentiments I find myself reflecting on today. And that is, I had neighbors who cared.

They cared enough to be up at the crack of dawn to weed flowerbeds, trim hedges and mow lawns. They cared enough to organize neighborhood watches and neighborhood events.

I remember during Christmas, the neighbors would come together to select a theme for the entire neighborhood. Each yard had common decoration elements such as a frosty white Christmas tree behind a spotlight and matching signage with different phrases like “Joy to the world”.

There was a deep sense of pride in *our* neighborhood characterized by doing things with each other and for each other. We were together and it made me as a child feel secure. I pray we can get back to that. I’m grateful. #52WoG

October 6, 2021

Fine Without God

I reject God believing “I am fine without God”. At the heart of that thinking is a belief that the light I’m walking in is my own.

Whatever your proximity to God, all light you enjoy -any semblance of love, justice or truth comes from Him. These are not concepts of human invention or products of our effort. They are characteristics of God that emanate from Him and shine through His vessels.

But there is coming a terrible day, after God’s offer of Himself and plea to choose life has gone out to every creature under heaven, that God will withdraw Himself completely from those who reject Him,

“For the stars of heaven and their constellations will not give their light; The sun will be darkened in its going forth, And the moon will not cause its light to shine.” Isaiah 13:10, Mark 13:24

God will allow them their desire -utter darkness because “they loved darkness rather than light” John 3:19. In His withdrawal, He will also take His people. Not one who bares His Light will remain. Mankind will be completely left to languish in their own corruption and cruelty, being devoid of understanding, with no hope of any good. There will be no love, truth, justice nor anything of the sort -no light.

This is why Jesus proclaims, “I must work while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work.” John 9:4

I remember my ignorance of the harm I was doing and how I was being harmed, until finally I was forced to acknowledge my sin because it was piled up to heaven and I was being crushed under the weight of it. I was not fine without God. And, neither are you.

Be not deceived, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17

I am so thankful that while I was in darkness, hope remained for me and there shone a great light. Isaiah 9:2, Matthew 4:16

And, there remains hope for you! The love of God compels me, “Believe Jesus, be freed from darkness and receive the Light of the world!” John 8:12

How can you test what I’m saying? How can you know it is true? The closer you walk with God through faith in Christ, the greater your light will shine.

September 30, 2021

52 Weeks of Gratefulness #40 – Mr. Richard West

Richard West. Former Chemistry teacher at Bailey Magnet High School

Bailey Magnet High School Chemistry Lab - Jackson, Mississippi

Bailey Magnet High School - Jackson, Mississippi

Picture of Richard West courtesy of Jackson Academy.

In Week 40 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for Mr. Richard West.

Mr. West was my chemistry teacher at Bailey Magnet High School in Jackson, Mississippi. He was the first black man that I had as a teacher. He taught me how to use my first scientific calculator, a Texas Instruments TI-35X, which I still have to this day.

There’s not any particular thing he said or did, it was his presence that made the difference in my life. Though I didn’t know a thing about Chemistry going in, students know when a teacher is competent and his command of math and science were evident. He was intelligent, professional, kind but firm, in control, excellent -alpha.

Mr. West’s representation in a professional setting as a teacher during my formative years affirmed that these wonderful qualities were not only possible for me as a young black man, they are what define a black professional.

His positive influence on my self perception, education and professional outlook cannot be overstated. I’m grateful. #52WoG

September 22, 2021

Unhappy At Work: A Confession

I was unhappy at work. I resented it. I felt unmotivated, tired and sad. I just didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t see the point.

I thought to myself, “If I were to do this everyday, it wouldn’t make any difference. I’d look up in ten years and be no better off and no further ahead. I’m going nowhere with this.”

I then asked myself what type of work would make me happy or would make doing it worthwhile? My answer: the kind of work that makes a lot of money, millions preferably. And, there was no way that I could see getting there doing what I’m doing now. The thought left me feeling stuck, without hope and dejected.

Then, I felt convicted and it occurred to me that my attitude about my work was out of line with God’s Word. Colossians 3:23 commands “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.” But, I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s impossible for me to obey this command. I can do the work, but I can’t do it from the heart (“heartily”) because I can’t want what I don’t want. That realization was a heart check and prompted the question from Genesis 3:9 where God asks Adam, “Where are you?” It made me consider whether I am in the flesh or the spirit. A preoccupation with materials things is a dead giveaway that I’m in the flesh but how did I get here? What moved me?

In the past, such states of discontent were triggered by feelings of inadequacy brought on by comparing myself to others or frustration with not being able to do something -namely, not being able to afford it. As I examined myself, I could not find any indication that covetousness was at play (this time). I couldn’t find where I was comparing myself to anyone. Then I contemplated whether I was frustrated. I determined that I was but what am I frustrated about? What brought this on?

Weeks back, we buried my Uncle John Jr. and death has a way of making you re-evaluate. One of my greatest desires is to be in a position to take care of my parents in what should be their golden years. My Uncle’s death was an urgent reminder that the clock was ticking, my parents are aging and I am nowhere near being ready financially. At the time, I did not recognize that these thoughts were even occurring. So, I did not bring these thoughts captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), that is, I did not evaluate whether their implications were lies that contradicted the truth of what God says. I was caught unaware and anxiety was sown in my heart.

Anxiety is a nasty demon –the hellish spawn of pride and fear. Pride makes you bigger than God and fear makes God smaller than your problem -a particularly potent and deadly combination. And that’s precisely where I’ve found myself, wrestling frantically with a problem bigger than I can handle, because what I think of God is so small.

How much has God brought me through? How many times have I been in need and He delivered? Time and time again God has sent who and what I need to get me where He wants me to be -every time. Every good thing I have is because of Him. So, why don’t I trust Him and would rather trust in uncertain riches (1 Timothy 6:17)?

I am glad, yes, glad that I don’t have millions of dollars because I’m obviously still at a level of maturity where I’d be foolish enough to trust it, become a slave to it, hurt others to keep it and probably jump out of a window if I lost it (1 Timothy 6:6-9). Instead, I want to be like Job who said, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21) or “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15). I want to be like Paul who said, “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” (Philippians 4:11) I don’t want satisfaction that’s dependent on my circumstances. Whether I’m CEO of a billion dollar corporation or peeling potatoes in a prison, I want to be just as full of His inexpressible joy, immovable, with the peace of God ruling in my heart.

Truthfully, it’s not that I’d rather trust uncertain riches than God. It’s that I was not vigilant and allowed something to distract me from my focus on God and I sank. I sank into my flesh and leaned to my own understanding rather than trusting Him. I moved from walking in the peace of the Spirit to allowing anxiety to make me discontent. What does God say about anxiety? “Be anxious for nothing” and then continues “but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” -Philippians 4:6. I failed to do the second part that prevents the first. I failed to be prayerful in everything. All prayer requires is to start by being honest about where I am and begin it with “Lord”. These two statements: “I am afraid I won’t have enough to take care of my parents” and “Lord, I am afraid I won’t have enough to take care of my parents” are similar but lead to very different places.

I repent and am resolved to be more vigilant to pray at all times, about all things and trust God. I trust that God is not merely some ethereal concept, but a real person with real power who is good and can indeed work all things together for good (Romans 8:28). So, I can be joyful and faithful with what’s in front of me, confident that He will work all things out and order my steps in the appropriate course of action (Psalm 37:23) to bring Him glory because that is what I want, or should want, above all.

It is a true and faithful saying that I cannot want what I do not want. So, when I find myself not wanting what He wants (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) or unable to want what He commands, I need a new heart. My prayer today is, “Lord, please give me a heart to want what You want. Give me a heart that delights in You, that enjoys and is completely satisfied with every good and perfect thing that is in You. I ask these things following the pattern of your Son Jesus the Christ (in His name) and for His sake. Amen.”

August 27, 2021

52 Weeks Of Gratefulness #35 – Pearson and Pepper Liddell

In Week 35 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for Pearson and Pepper Liddell.

“Melissa and I are calling to see what divorce lawyers you would recommend. We want to end this as quickly and amicably as possible.”

This picture was taken less than 24 hours after that call.

The call was made to Pearson and Pepper Liddell, a couple who hosted a Christian marriage ministry that Melissa and I had been a part of for the last five years. During their ministry, they urged each couple to commit to a pact: to take divorce off the table. I was always reluctant to do so because I had a line in the sand. There were things I felt I deserved. There were certain things I wasn’t going to tolerate. There was only so much I was going to endure. I was only willing to go so far.

“Can you meet with us?”, they replied. Early the next morning they drove 4 hours from Georgia to meet with Melissa and I in a location they prepared at New Horizon’s Church in Starkville, Mississippi.

They labored with us in prayer and in the Word for almost 8 hours. It took that long, mostly because I’m pretty familiar with the Bible and was craftily twisting scripture to justify my position. Pearson was definitely no novice, but most importantly, while I was in the flesh, he was in the Spirit and said to me, “The problem with your logic and interpretation of scripture is that it’s built on the basis of what you want. But what does God want?”

Check.

Grasping at this point, I retort, “He wants my peace -1 Corinthians 7:15.”

Pearson and Pepper jointly replied, “Does God want that more than He wants to redeem and sanctify your wife and children through the ark of His holy institution? More than He want’s to make Himself known through your ministry to your wife as Christ’s to the church? If peace is primary, what about Jesus’ peace, that of His only begotten Son?”

Check and mate.

The fact that was indisputable is Christ’s purpose from before creation is redemptive. He came to seek and save that which was lost -Luke 19:10. That is what God wants. This is the ministry that Jesus took upon Himself and He was obedient to death, even the humiliating death of the cross -Philippians 2:8. From the beginning, God instituted marriage to point to Christ with His redemptive purpose in view.

I had been led astray by a focus on my own selfish purposes and desires. Pearson and Pepper were the shepherds that led us to repentance and back to the heart of the Father.

They reminded me that marriage is not mine for my pleasure and purposes. Marriage is God’s, made for His purpose and I am humbly just a minister in it. Marriage is a great and wonderful mystery and, as with most things, when done His way results in outcomes that far exceed anything I could even hope to achieve.

You can’t tell at first glance, but if you look closely at the picture, you can see the tint of red in all of our eyes from crying. This is what has characterized our walk with the Liddell’s. They don’t play church. We deal with real life. They are transparent about their own struggles and are therefore able to help us with ours. We confess our sins to one another and are healed together. God’s grace toward us through the Liddell’s has tremendously blessed us, our children and people we didn’t even know that God was using our marriage to reach.

I have since taken divorce off the table, for any reason, come what may. Christ gave it all so that we may have the true riches and pleasure of being one together with God in Him. The Liddell’s through word and deed have demonstrated that, when done right, marriage is a model of that.

I’m grateful. #52WoG

Originally posted to Facebook on August 27, 2021.

August 21, 2021

52 Weeks Of Gratefulness #34 – Rosemary Luckett

Apartment complex where the Luckett family lived during seminary training at ITC Gammon Theological Seminary in Atlanta, Georgia

Rosemary Luckett at Ribbon Cutting Of Master The Machine Computer Learning Center

In Week 34 of 52 Weeks of Gratefulness, I give thanks for my mother, Rosemary Luckett.

The place was remarkably clean as I remember.

It’s my Dad’s first year at ITC Gammon Theological Seminary in Atlanta, Georgia and we’ve not long moved into the apartment. My brother’s a baby and I’m between first and second grade.

Sterile seems a more accurate description. The walls were stark white. The ceiling is white. The floor is white and black speckled laminate. The only thing breaking up the monotony of the space was a thick, dark grey rubber border running along the bottom of the walls. In the living room, there’s a large window that spanned the height of the wall, sitting just above a motel style air conditioner.

It’s quiet, too. It’s Saturday morning. At our old house, the neighborhood would already be bustling with the sound of lawn mowers and playing kids. But here, it’s dead quiet, aside from the muffled sound of city traffic due to being some way off in the distance. I’m looking out the living room window onto the spacious, grassy courtyard dotted with large trees and thinking perhaps I’ll play out there.

And then, it started as the sound of gentle arrhythmic taps against metal -like salt being slowly sprinkled on aluminum foil. It was the first droplets of rain hitting the coils of the air condition unit. The window began to collect a few drops making a circuitous path toward the sill. Then, what began as a sprinkle became a thunderous shower and sheets of rain are now streaming down the window.

There was suddenly static, like a TV without a clear channel. And then the sound alternated between music, then voices and music again, each electronically garbled between transitions. My mother had gone and gotten the radio and brought it to the front room. She was turning a large silver knob, searching for the right station. When she found one playing a song, she bent forward toward me with her arms stretched out and hands open, motioning for me to dance.

She took me by the hands twisting, jumping and skipping about as we danced to Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder and the music of that day. My brother was on the couch in his diaper and she’d occasionally scoop him up so he could dance with us too. A dreary, lonely day was suddenly filled with light. All I remember was the brightness of her countenance and the fullness of her smile as her full, black untamed hair bounced exuberantly upon her shoulders. This is my mother; my wonderful, beautiful, incomparable mother. It is a moment that perfectly encapsulated her as a person. Over and over throughout my life, she took a cold, empty husk of an existence and filled it with joy, hope and love.

I don’t remember the music ending. I hope it never does. If I could relive that moment for eternity, that would be heaven.

I thank God continually for you, Mom. I love you.

I’m grateful. #52WoG

Originally posted to Facebook on August 21, 2021.

August 10, 2021

What The Storm Taught Me About Jesus

“Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?”

These words of Jesus recorded in Mark 4:40 always perplexed me. What do you mean, “Why am I so fearful?!” We’re in the middle of a deadly storm! (Mark 4:37) Don’t you feel the ship being tossed violently about? Don’t you see that the ship is filling with water and that we’re about to sink?! What does faith have to do with anything? This is not a matter of attitude or perspective. This threat is not spiritual. The danger is real! So, what do you mean, “Why am I so fearful?!”

The questions seemed absurd. That is, until I had to face a storm of my own.

Like the storm in Mark 4:37, mine came upon me suddenly, unexpectedly and violently. In one great swell the waters crashed on my life, threatening to tear everything apart. After barely surviving its impact, I was then hammered with wave, after wave, after wave. I lived in constant fear of the blow that would finally end it all. This went on for years.

But, Jesus was in the boat the whole time.

I was so focused on the storm, I lost sight of who He was. And, I didn’t realize the effect that Jesus was having just being there. While He seemed to me to be “sleeping”, He was the reason I had not perished. It was His presence, and not all the things I was clinging to, that was preserving me and providing for my need. What I see now, that I didn’t see then, is that He had angels encamped all around us -real people, who ministered to my real needs. As I reflect on those years, I clearly see people God sent that provided precisely what I needed both spiritually and materially in their due seasons. Why? Not because of what I had done, but because of who I was with. I was with Jesus –Jesus, the Christ, the Son of God who was sent according to the love of God for this very purpose: that those who believe in Him would not perish but have life everlasting.

That last part –Jesus, the Christ, the Son of God.

This view of Jesus as God incarnate is what I believed or at least conceptually understood at some point, but lost sight of. And this is why, I believe, that Jesus asks, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” Because, if I am with Christ in the boat, do I really believe the Christ will perish? Do I really believe that He will fail to do what He came to do? Do I really believe that any promise made concerning Him will go unfulfilled? Oh Father, grant me the faith of Abraham who believed so steadfastly on your Promise because he believed God to be so faithful that He’d never go back on His word and believed God to be so powerful, that He could raise the son of Promise from the dead. (Genesis 22:1-14; Hebrews 11:19) Lord, help me to see You and to allow the reality of who You are to loom larger than the reality that I’m wrestling with!

When I believe Jesus, my hope and expectation is in the furtherance of His purposes: reconciling creation to Himself and the full coming of His kingdom. This, by faith, becomes the desire of my heart that I can be fully assured that God will give to me. (Psalm 37:4) Furthermore, if He can command even the storm, I can have confidence that nothing concerning me is beyond His control. If I live, He is in control. He has work for me and as I walk in it, no storm, no circumstance, no power in Hell -nothing can prevent it. If I die, He is in control. I can depart knowing that He is faithful to finish the work He began and that nothing that I have committed to Him will be in vain. So, whether in life or death, He is in control, His purposes will prevail, He will be glorified and my desire in Him will not fail.

As I look back from the other side of the storm, I see that the whole time I spent being anxious, frantically flailing about, I could have been resting confidently with Jesus.