3 States Of Marriage Triangle
This is something my wife and I cover with couples in counseling in preparation for their wedding day. I’m sharing it in hopes it will be a blessing to someone else.
The Three States Of Marriage Triangle
Marriage is God making two –a husband and a wife, one in Him.
No power is capable of facilitating this union and holding it together other than God’s love.
God is love.
We cannot love without love.
Therefore, everything starts with Him and is done through Him.
“We love because He first loved us.” -1 John 4:19
Love begins with His revelation and then our acceptance of His love for us.
Thereby, we see what love is, what is good, what is true and how it’s done.
We, as a husband or a wife, participate in marriage by being loved by God, modeling ourselves after God, and ministering the love of God to each other.
In a healthy marriage, the husband and wife minister the love of God toward each other, a perpetual process of perfecting –sanctification: that reveals, cleanses and draws.
Through this process they increasingly become One until the distinction between husband and wife is nearly indiscernible except that they’re merely different expressions of the same life-giving whole.
Attending to this process should be a husband’s top priority and occupation.
As a husband, he should be diligent to know the state of his wife and their marriage, careful to cultivate, water and fertilize with the nurture of God’s Love.
A husband should also be vigilant against evil, careful to weed and prune anything hindering their growth.
If it so happens that a husband or wife becomes distant (out of fellowship with God and therefore out of fellowship with the spouse), the marriage becomes anemic.
Our tendency is to look toward our spouse and concentrate on what we’re not getting that we think we should. This only causes more harm and it’s not God’s way.
Consider Jesus. No matter what we did (or did not do that we should have), Jesus was not moved. He focused on the love between Him and the Father and ministered that love to us.
“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.” – John 15:9
God is faithful and His love toward that drifting spouse remains constant. So, we look toward Him. We focus on His love toward us to get what we need and then minister His love toward our spouse.
Love from above. Love from below.
There is no better means or greater power to restore someone to fellowship than God’s love.
Enticements, appeasement, grand expressions, manipulation and coercion only work for a little while, if at all.
But, love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).
And, in the last state where both spouses are distant (out of fellowship with God therefore out of fellowship with each other), the marriage is broken. This condition should be avoided at all cost by personally always drawing near to the Savior, Jesus Christ.
But even in the worst case scenario, God gives a way back to fellowship. Just one needs to look up.
I began by saying marriage is God making two one. And, everything I have said applies to two believers.
Before you say “I do” to each other, make sure you’ve both said, “I do” to Jesus’s proposal.
To have a healthy marriage, it is vital to not be unequally yoked.
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