Hating yourself can feel like the proper punishment for the wrong you’ve done, the people you hurt and not being who you think you ought to be, but it’s not the way.
It only causes more harm.
The only helpful response to error and harm is repentance:
1. Awareness of God’s standard (Love),
2. Agree that I fall short of God’s standard,
3. Apologize for the offense to God and the injured caused by missing God’s standard,
4. Acknowledge my need for God’s help to meet the standard,
5. Ask God for His help meet to the standard,
6. Accept God’s help — His manifold grace through the instruction, wisdom, guidance and strength He supplies to atone with others and to align you to His standard so that you approach the matter appropriately moving forward.
7. Appreciate the forgiveness Jesus bought with His blood and the amazing power He offers, the same power that raised Him from the dead He makes available to you to give you new life now, with a new sprit –new and healthy desires, a new disposition and a new outlook.
Self hatred and self loathing is just more selfishness and a twisted attempt at self-righteousness which achieves nothing: no reconciliation, no healing, no improvement, just more anger, bitterness and regret.
When we continually abuse ourselves rather than accept the forgiveness Christ affords us, though we think we abase ourselves, it is an egregious act of pride.
When we reject His grace, we put ourselves above God, we take His seat as judge and instruct Him on how He should have handled our case. We mock God’s perfect solution for justice, we belittle the sacrifice of Christ and assert that His blood isn’t good enough!
Instead, humble yourself. Repent. Turn your attention from self to the Savior. Lift your eyes to Jesus Christ and find all the help you need to meet the standard to be better, to do better, to reconcile, to heal, to be transformed –to love that does no harm.
Repentance is lifting your eyes to Love.
“For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”
2 Corinthians 7:10
https://bible.com/bible/114/2co.7.10.NKJV